I am a pretty easy-going person usually in real life, but my MIL just pushes my buttons! We got along okay, with just a few little snips from her and stuff until my son was born and then it just went downhill fast.
When I was in the hospital, she was HORRIBLE to me! DH ended up staying there with me almost the entire time, which I wanted. I was slightly traumatized and scared almost the entire time b/c of what had happened w/ the birth. Not to mention that I was bedridden until 48 hours after the birth b/c of the mag. Anyway, she kept making really obvious huffing and puffing and comments about how he should just leave me and come have fun with them. She wanted him to leave and go eat with her and his brother before I was even out of recovery from my C-Section! Then, he had a stiff neck and was complaining about it on the phone with her (she was at our house and he was still at the hospital with me). I never said anything about his sore neck or his complaining, except that I hoped he felt better. Well, he said, "I guess I shouldn't be complaining though, Crystal is the one who's sick." His mom made a frustrated blowing noise and said, "She's NOT sick, she just had a baby for goodness sake." I could not believe that she said that! I mean, I WAS sick. I had pre-eclampsia, a potentially life-threatening condition for crying out loud. AND, I never even complained about anything despite the fact that I was miserable and scared the entire time.
My mom ended up staying with me at the hospital for most of the time as well, which I was incredibly grateful for. And Carolyn (MIL) kept making comments that "everyone" needed to leave b/c me and Chad needed to be alone. I didn't care what she thought, because I was the one who'd had a baby. His family even got upset when the doctors asked them to leave the room before they checked me...come on ppl. Anyway, after making all those comments to my mom about how we needed to be alone and spend time together and stuff, we came home to them being at our house (they live in IL, so they stayed w/ us). Chad's dad decided it would be a good time to build a porch on to our house. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the porch and we did need a new one, but it was so frustrating for me because I really needed my husband after I got home from the hospital but I was constantly competing for 5 minutes of his time. If I'd ask him to do something for me or the baby, his mom would purposely ask him to do something else. It was really ridiculous.
Anyway, it went on like that and she stayed with us for like a week total. Looking back it makes me sad that we missed that first week of bonding w/ our family (me Chad and Caeden) because of his pushy, jealous acting mother.
Oh yeah, and she babies him (he IS the baby of the family) like NO OTHER. Remember the sore neck? Well, half the day she had him laid back in the recliner w/ ice or heat on his neck and bringing him hot tea and waiting on him hand and foot saying she hopes he gets better. Me, the one who just had major abdominal surgery, she just told me that I should toughen up and get over it b/c it didn't hurt that bad. lol.
And, I do practically EVERYTHING for our son. Chad is getting better lately (like the last 3 weeks or so), but before that I literally did everything w/ him. But, in Carolyn's eyes it was the other way around. If Chad sleeps in until 9:30 or so she says "Good for him, he needs the rest." If I "sleep in" until 8 or 8:30 she says, "Well, I was always up at the crack of dawn taking care of my family." UGH.
Anyway, that's the back story and her little condescending comments continue. Here is how I have dealt with it:
1. I don't talk about it to my family or anyone else who will be on my side about it. Then, they will just get going and that will get me even more worked up about it.
2. I try to remind myself that my family (who accepts anyone and everyone as a part of the family) is one of a kind. My parents love Chad just like he's one of theirs. When he was in the hospital, my family visited him just like they would if it were me. I need to remember that not every family is like that.
3. I have PRAYED about it a TON. I have prayed that God would give me patience and help me to see that she means well.
4. I try to remember that she really does mean well and she does a lot of things to try and help us out. She loves my husband and son and I need to get over myself sometimes.
In the end, through a lot of prayer, I have learned to overlook a lot of her condescending comments. I have still continually tried to reach out to her (which I have done all along). In all of this, the last couple of visits with them have been much better. Since the baby has been born we've seen them about once a month for anywhere from 4-8 days at a time.
